who the fuck do you think you are #5

Posted by Matthew Windsor on



We've teamed up with SLC's resident hardrock sages, Milk Money, to answer questions and tell stories about hardcore, hardrock, the "scene", life advice, and whatever other random shit comes to mind. Follow them on TWITTER, check them out on SPOTIFY, and check back next week for WTFDYTYA #6.

We’ve done five of these already? Wow, you guys can’t get enough of this stuff. Or maybe you’ve already had enough, and we just don’t care. Probably the latter, but we’re still in quarantine mode, and we’ve gotta pass the time somehow. So! On to your questions.

@SkiMaskThePumpGod asks: What M$'s favorite Harm's Way song?


@DarthVaderFromPlanetVulcan asks: Will you please review Huey Lewis & The News’ new EP, Weather?

M$: Huey Lewis and the News is known for two things: AMERICAN PSYCHO and BACK TO THE FUTURE. You might think they’re also known for the GHOSTBUSTERS theme song, but that’s actually Ray Parker Jr. The producers went after Lewis first, but he declined. When they couldn’t get him, they hired Parker Jr., and told him that they wanted the GHOSTBUSTERS theme to sound like a Huey Lewis song. He took that suggestion a little too seriously, and delivered something that sounded almost exactly like Lewis’ song “I Want a New Drug.” There was a lawsuit and everything. The GHOSTBUSTERS theme is better, if you’re wondering.

Anyway.“Hip to Be Square” and “The Power of Love” are all-time classics. Those songs basically define what the 80’s were like, and Huey Lewis was a god among men in 1987. But it’s 2020, and even though we’re all stuck in isolation, no one cares about a new Huey Lewis record. It’s got some decent bits, and it’s a bummer that Lewis’ hearing declined so much that they couldn’t actually finish it, but it’s just not the same. No one wants to hear the new stuff. Just play the hits, man. That’s literally the only thing we’re here for. We can’t wait to be at that stage of our career—probably without the fame or success th


Anyway.

“Hip to Be Square” and “The Power of Love” are all-time classics. Those songs basically define what the 80’s were like, and Huey Lewis was a god among men in 1987. But it’s 2020, and even though we’re all stuck in isolation, no one cares about a new Huey Lewis record. It’s got some decent bits, and it’s a bummer that Lewis’ hearing declined so much that they couldn’t actually finish it, but it’s just not the same. No one wants to hear the new stuff. Just play the hits, man. That’s literally the only thing we’re here for. We can’t wait to be at that stage of our career—probably without the fame or success though.

@OnlyTrueBelievers asks: FMK - Despair, Buried Alive, Terror

M$: Scott Vogel may not be a hardcore icon, but his name has to come up in the discussion at the very least. He’s earned that much. 



Now there are two ways to think about Vogel.

First, if there were a “Lead Singer” draft, and your new band had an early pick, he definitely goes in the first round. Maybe he’s not the overall Number 1, but he doesn’t fall out of the Top 10. He’s a workhorse, and has all the connections to get that new band well positioned for the future. Listen to his suggestions, let him lead the way, and you’ll be on tour forever.



The second way might be a little more accurate. Vogel is like a seasoned politician—maybe a well-regarded Senator, or a popular Congressman. He’s been actively involved in hardcore since like 1993, knows how the game is played, and he’s fucking GREAT at town halls and rallies (aka club shows and festivals). When you get down to it, though, and start looking a little deeper at his campaign speeches (his lyrics), they don’t really mean anything. He definitely follows the Jamey Jasta approach to songwriting in that his catchphrases are phenomenal, and they sound awesome when you’re shouting them into the mic at the top of your lungs, but they’re pretty generic. If you’re a young straight edge kid, and don’t know anything about Vogel as a person, you can easily interpret those lyrics as an anthem for your anti-drug beliefs. If you’re an old guy who doesn’t give a fuck about straight edge, has probably crushed a few beers with Vogel, and loves the sancity of the hardcore scene, he’s speaking directly to you. That’s the hallmark of a great frontman and a great politician: say as much as you can, without actually saying anything and you’ll be in a position of power for the next 30 years. Vogel has that shit on lock.


That’s a lot of sidetracking for what was, honestly, a pretty easy question. Fuck Despair, Marry Buried Alive, and Kill Terror. The first Buried Alive record is still one of our favorite HC albums, and we want to be close to it forever. Despair is the band you brag about. It’s not fair, but someone had to lose in this scenario. If “Keepers of the Faith” has to die so that “The Death of Your Perfect World” and “One Thousand Cries” can prosper forever, so be it. Vogel will be fine. He’s always been an underdog, anyway.



@DefinitelyNotTheProphet asks: Can Mormons really be straightedge?


M$:


@StickToHardrock asks: If there were an election for Governor of Hardcore and Mayor of Straight Edge, who would they be?

M$: This is something that we think about a lot, for no real reason. The first time it came up (for us, anyway) was way back in 2001. A bunch of us went to Syracuse, New York for Hellfest. The lineup was stacked*, headlined by Earth Crisis playing their final show** on the last night.



The first day we got to town, we went out to eat. Agreeing on a place to eat with 25 people is damn near impossible, because no one wants to split up, and risk being in the group that’s less fun than the other one. FOMO is a serious thing amongst friends. After about an hour of arguing, a few of the locals stepped in, led the way, and we all followed. There were only a handful of us that were vegan, and looking over the menu, there didn’t seem to be anything for us to eat.

“I don’t see any vegan options,” I (Trevor) said. “Do you know if they have any?”

“Oh, I didn’t think about that,” said one of the locals. “You might have to go to the grocery store around the corner.”

“No vegan options?” said Brandon. “This is Syracuse.”

“I thought Karl from Earth Crisis was the mayor of this city,” said Brook.

“He’s allowing businesses that don’t have vegan options? That’s kind of bullshit,” I said. 

“Pretty shitty mayor,” said Brook. “Probably won’t get re-elected.”

None of the locals laughed, and were convinced that we thought Karl from Earth Crisis was actually the mayor of the city. 

Ever since, whether it’s on long tour drives, late night games of 31, or parking lot hangout sessions well after a show has ended, we’ve debated who would be the Governor of Hardcore, and The Mayor of Straight Edge. We still don’t know the answer. But seeing as how it’s an election year, let’s throw down the gauntlet, and open it up to suggestions.

Maybe we have a primary and then a general? I don’t know. We’ll figure this out on Twitter and Facebook over the next couple of weeks. Get those nominations in.

*I forgot just how stacked this show was until I found the setlist. Holy shit.

**No hardcore band will ever have a final show. They’re all like professional wrestlers, in that they’ll just quietly disappear for a little while before making a less than stellar comeback every few years until someone actually dies.
 
 

If you’d like M$ to answer your question in next week’s column, follow us on 
Twitter or Instagram and hit our DMs or use the tag, #AskMilkMoney.

Until next time, this is Milk Money saying, “Jesus christ, I forgot to add coffee to my Instacart order?"

 

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